The Ishmael of the Stacks

Hello reader. You find me at today understanding my place as a black information professional. This space typically sees a homogenous majority. Most times I have been at odds philosophically with this group by way of my identity. I clamor to make space for myself, but also hold space for those who are at the intersection of this field and oppression.

what does it mean that I feel every microaggression and pretend not to notice because they too have some form of oppression? it is revolting that despite my accomplishments, the system that protects my non black- colleagues supports them in their always keeping tabs on my workflows, lunches, and results.

I fear that this feeling does not come from my own perceived inferiority but rather is the product of years of being a minority, constantly assessed, and mislabeled as other. a forced limitation that I have transcended cyclically ad naseum.
I think of a anecdote about Ralph Ellison one of the greatest writer’s of the 20th century who was at the height of his career shortly after the release of the work ” Invisible Man “. He sat at a dinner party with other accomplished writers, all purportedly great in their own ways and at the heights of their careers, and one leaned into him and states that by definition a novelist is someone who has written many books. They then asserted an aggression to Ellison Directly looking in his eyes and saying “You are not a novelist.”

Imagine saying that to an author so incredible that despite that within the literary realm of the majority against whom he cried out, he is widely recognized even in his own time as a producing a significant contribution to the western canon of literature.

In my own situation it is not the direct assertions but the exclusion as an aggressive act. The former example is not how many non-black professionals operate within their system for protection. They talk among themselves hinting at the inferiority of others until they reach a consensus, either to exclude and kill by isolation or the boldest of them takes their group conscious to the superior and hints at a lack of competency or perceived wrongness , agreed upon prior by the exclusionary collective. The wrongness of presence, the wrongness of existence.

No matter how much love you have for people, one must understand that the selfish consume the essence of others more vulnerable. The job when kept pristine, and unbothered by black presence affirms non black colleagues, quietly nurturing the conception that an homogenous workplace is good.
Black colleague, I am not saying they are not your friends but what I am saying is that there is a purpose for the majority for your exclusion or inclusion– and rarely to serve for your good altruistically.

Be so excellent, that your work product is irrefutable as competent… nay exceeds expectations. Evidence your work and stay black. Do as those you are wary of and remain cordial and working.

The bard once said,

The devil hath power
to assume a pleasing shape.

Best,